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...Yo...empty corner of cyberspace...i've been traumatized for life...
You know you've hit pretty fucking low (dare i say rock bottom?) when you go to so many fucking parties that you forget who invited you and you notice that your wardrobe is smaller because of things you've lost and shall never get back. When you drink too many different alcoholic beverages, do too many oddly colored shots off too many random body parts, and put stuff in your body that would make your nan weep tears of blood because of the shame.
And at one such party, you black out only to wake up half naked with some girls frilly chesticle supporters wrapped around your neck like some fucked up (very lovely and silky, neon pink) neck bling. Oh, and let's not forget THE RANDOM GUY SUCKING YOUR DICK LIKE IT'S HIS FUCKING JOB!!! ...Now, i'm not gay. Not homosexual. Nope. And this freaked me out. Bad.
I thought i was hallucinating. I've seen worse. But then he looks up, slurs something along the lines of, "Hey, i like your cock." (I wasn't anywhere near sober...) and dives back down like my dick was the last iced lolly in the whole fucking desert of his life! (Awesome sentence, Hamish, you boss.) I vaguely remember spazzing and pushing him off, stumbling out of the room, and leaving the house only to black out again...I woke up the next morning next to some pool. After promptly watering whoever's rose bush with my lovely stomach fluids, i went inside to maybe find my shirt...or hat...or shoes...
As i had emptied my stomach fluids onto some really nice red roses i had convinced myself i dreamt the whole thing. I got a nice wake up call when i walked into the kitchen to see Mr. Dickrape. He looked at me, scowled, growled (WHO GROWLS AT PEOPLE?!?!) , and made sure to knock his shoulder into mine on his way out of the room...in my drunken, high stupor i had given him a black eye...
Maybe he shouldn't date rape a guy's dick while he's too smashed to do anything about it.
Oh! And to make things just a tad bit more lovely, me and dick rape dude? We've got a class together. Fuckit.
Suffice to say...i'm gunna try and not go to random parties anymore...not only do i get my dick mouth raped by some random dude...but now i'm super close to finals and am only being saved by my amazingly lucky ability to soak in knowledge without paying attention to lectures...This last month i've ben fucking things up...
I feel violated in so many fucking ways.
Haha! Good times, amiright? ...no, just...no...
Well...sharing time is over! Enjoy my shame Interwebs...enjoy my pain...
Me and Slenderman shall most definitely NOT be hitting any clubs...and 20$ are still needed but for energy drinks and coffee cause these last few weeks shall be used on all nighters to make sure there is no failing for this panda bro!
Oh...and i'm moving to space, cause i heard the weather was nice and there was never traffic jams...plus sharks can attack you and i like sharks...



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